The cooldown is the short waiting period between when you submit an unblock request and when your buddy can decide on it. It's the entire reason DLM exists.
What it does
When you submit a request, a timer starts. During the cooldown:
- You see a "Hold on..." screen with a progress ring.
- Your buddy can see the request but can't approve or deny it yet. The Approve and Deny buttons are greyed out on their end.
- You can cancel the request at any time.
Why it matters
Half the urge is gone by the time the cooldown is done. That's not a metaphor — it's how impulse works. The brain spike that makes you reach for Instagram fades within a couple of minutes if nothing reinforces it. By the time your buddy is even looking at your request, your future self is usually grateful they made you wait.
Without the cooldown, an instant-yes from a generous buddy would basically be a tap-to-unblock button. The cooldown is what keeps DLM honest.
Changing the duration
Default is 30 seconds, which is enough to take the edge off a casual urge. You can change it in Settings → Friction:
- 15 sec, 30 sec, 1 min, 3 min, 5 min, 15 min
Longer is harder, and that's the point — pick whatever you can live with. We recommend 1 to 3 minutes for normal use, and 15 minutes if you really want to test yourself.
The cooldown also applies to other requests
It's not just for unblocking apps. Anything that changes the contract goes through the same cooldown:
- Switching from Blocker to Key Holder (giving up your blocks)
- Changing your block window or active days
This is what we mean by "no back doors". Every escape hatch goes through the same friction — by design.
Can my buddy bypass it?
No. The cooldown is enforced on the server. Approve and Deny buttons are disabled in your buddy's app and rejected by the server if somehow tapped before the cooldown expires.