DLM is built around a two-phone loop: you submit, your buddy decides. Push notifications are how each side knows the other has moved. Without them, the whole flow stalls.

What you'll get pushed

If you're the Blocker:

  • "[Buddy] said yes" / "[Buddy] said no" — when your request is decided.
  • "[Buddy] sent a note" — if they wrote a message back.

If you're the Key Holder:

  • "[Buddy] is asking: 15 min of [app] — '[reason]'" — when a new request lands.
  • "[Buddy] cancelled their request" — if they backed out before you decided.

Granting permission

The first time DLM tries to register for push, iOS asks for permission. Tap Allow. If you tapped Don't Allow, you can fix it in:

iOS Settings → Notifications → DLM → Allow Notifications: On

Make sure Alerts, Sounds, and Badges are all on. Banners (Persistent or Temporary) are your call.

What's in the notification body

To keep things useful at a glance, push body text contains:

  • Your buddy's display name (the name they chose during sign-up)
  • The duration and app label of the request (Blocker side)
  • The first ~100 chars of the reason text (Blocker side)

That means the reason text shows on the buddy's lock screen. Don't write anything in it you wouldn't want their family to read over their shoulder.

Not getting notifications? Troubleshooting

  1. Check iOS permissions. Settings → Notifications → DLM → Allow Notifications: On.
  2. Check Focus modes. If you're in Do Not Disturb, Work Focus, or Sleep, iOS may be silencing DLM. Add DLM to your Focus's allowed apps, or check the Focus's "Silence notifications from" list.
  3. Check Scheduled Summary. Settings → Notifications → Scheduled Summary → make sure DLM isn't in the list (it should hit immediately, not batched).
  4. Sign out and back in. Sometimes the APNs token gets stale. Sign out, sign back in — DLM re-registers fresh.
  5. Reinstall. Last resort. Delete and reinstall the app. You'll need to sign in and pair again.

Privacy note

DLM uses Apple's APNs service to deliver pushes. The text of your reason flows through Apple's infrastructure briefly while in transit (encrypted), then lands on your buddy's device. We sanitise the text server-side before sending to strip control characters and bidi tricks that could spoof system UI.